In a world where lust can be bought in a pill and skin is the marketing tool du jour, being David Jay cannot be easy. At the age of 22 he has never had sex. He has never experienced sexual attraction towards another person and does not believe it will ever happen. There are many others who have similar stories to tell. They talk about growing up not being able to understand why everyone else seemed so interested in dating, kissing and touching; in experiencing the ritual of mating. Until recently these people felt isolated, never suspecting others felt the same.
In a world saturated with sexual imagery, appeals to the effects of sexual attraction, and arguments about the way sex affects society, it is difficult for some people to believe that not everyone harbors an interest in sex or feels sexual attraction. But asexuality undermines common beliefs that sexual feelings are universal.
Single colorado springs members interested in asexual dating
While there have always been people who felt little or no sexual desire or attraction to others, the concept of asexuality is relatively new. Is Asexuality a Sexual Orientation?
While celibacy may be a choice or a result of life circumstances, asexuality is driven by a lack of sexual attraction. People who are uncomfortable with or intimidated by sex generally still feel sexual attraction, even if they are unable to act on it. Asexual people, however, are not interested in sexual relationships with other people. They may still form long-term commitments and get marriedbut these relationships are typically built around mutual respect and affection rather than sexual attraction.
Asexual people frequently are faced with intrusive questions about why they are uninterested in sex, and some people point to the fact asexual people may later identify as a different orientation or may begin identifying as asexual after engaging in sexual relationships. Asexuality advocacy groups, however, point out that this does not mean that asexuality is not a distinct orientation.
Heterosexual people occasionally engage in homosexual relationships, and some people change their sexual orientation later in life. The Path to Asexuality There is a lot of sexual pressure in our culture. Many asexual people begin to identify as asexual only after having romantic relationships and sexual experiences. The common denominator among asexual people, however, is no desire for sexual relationships. Some asexual people show affection to their partners by massaging them, kissing them, holding hands, or participating in other nonsexual physical practices.
Asexual people who discover their orientation while involved in a romantic relationship often have a difficult road to navigate. There are a variety of ways to deal with disparities in sexual interest, and while some relationships end due to asexuality, partners sometimes agree to arrangements that allow both members of a couple to express their sexuality in a way that is comfortable for them. Many asexual people experience strong attractions to others and enjoy spending time with specific partners. Others experience regular sexual arousal, but feel no need to act on that arousal.
Some asexual people find sex extremely off-putting, while others are simply disinterested.
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Who would someone need to see if you thought that they were experiencing feelings of asexuality? And how do you know that this is acrtually what it is and not a symptom of something else, like depression or maybe even certain medications that one might already be taking?
Rather, asexual people see a therapist for reasons unrelated to sexuality. Usually if there are few or no relationships a therapist will ask about any difficulties the client is having. I guess there are some people who could have a relationship with someone who is asexual, that love conquers all and all that, but I am sure that this is not for me.
And besides I know that there are a lot of people who would never be happy living like this and who would seek sexual fulfillment from others and then that opens up a whole new can of worms for the relationship to manage. To each his own- if they are happy or content with it, then so be it.
Can you or anyone shed light on this?
Elsbeth, asexual partners sometimes come to an agreement with sex with their partners. Of course, I start wondering Why. I was asexual for many, many years- just had other things on my mind and no interest in sex. Just as healthy now as I was then, nothing wrong or weird about it… Feels perfectly natural to those whoop experience it… Honestly, its easier to relate to people….
Bergie, you are one Lucky person! Society is so anti-sex that it is surprising that there even is some negative reaction to the few asexual people like yourself there are.
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If anything, that should be seen as positive. You are very very forunate to be free of the flames. So many people, especially women, have such a negative view about sex in and of itself in seeing it as base or artificial even though it is profound and fundamentally good.
Maybe someday the ladies will freekin relax. Sexuality should be celebrated not denied. I know this article said asexuality is not a disorder, but are you sure? It seems like they are missing out on a lot.
Rego: sex isn’t for everyone
I feel really badly for people who find themselves in that position. Garry M: also not to forget are the benefits of sex and a healthy sexual relationship. It has physical, emotional and mental benefits. Being asexual means these people are missing out on all of that too. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.
Sexless and proud
Get Listed. References: Gordon, O. The moment I realized I was asexual. The Telegraph.
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