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About me

Meredith Golden keeps two lists of guys you absolutely should not date.

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Golden, 43, has developed these no-fly lists in her four years as a dating app ghostwriter. Once she has earned a client a date, she tags them in and becomes a more traditional dating coach, reviewing each encounter in detailed post-mortems, helping to guide their next moves. Some clients disclose to their dates that they have used Ms. The IRL part of dating is frequently the scariest.

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But the people who employ Ms. Golden, who range in age from 22 to 71, often have a hard time getting situated in a swipey world. Some are new to dating entirely and appreciate the hand-holding.

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Others admit that the last time they were single, many of the apps du jour did not exist. One of her clients, a single mother who lives in Manhattan, said that after her divorce she had no idea how to create a dating profile or how to talk to people on dates.

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The client asked not to be identified, because she had not told the man she was dating that she had used Ms. Golden guided her for a month, explaining, for instance, that a guy who messaged at 11 p. Golden translated the message. Kim Nicewonder, 51, who produces and directs the Miss Virginia beauty ant, had a different problem.

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She lived in Bristol, Va. Golden helped her start looking in Charlotte, Raleigh and Atlanta. After a month, she met her current partner, a man she calls the love of her life. She plans to marry him.

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Nicewonder said. Tone is essential to Ms. She learns to imitate their conversational styles through the use of an eight- intake form that includes specific questions: How do you take your coffee?

You matched with someone really great online. this is her ghostwriter.

By the time a potential client has answered those questions and had an hourlong introductory conversation, Ms. She subscribes to a less-is-more mind-set, and much of the work she does is in how little she says. She will not get caught in volleys of conversation, and judges prospective dates who do so. She is amazed at how often her clients come to her with a lineup of pictures that look like mug shots, or in which they are standing with three friends and are thus impossible to identify.

Golden picks the best of what they have to offer clear portraits in which they are distinct and seem happy or, in some cases, sends them to professional photographers.

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Golden is cool with helping her busy clients hook up if they are not eager to enter a more serious relationship. But, though she says she is not a romantic, she is more often focused on a lifetime partnership.

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A mother of two sons, she treats her clients protectively, warning them not to drink too much and never to get in a car with a stranger. She said that, when she gains new customers in this way, the daughters are often more willing to try the service than the sons. I would make sure they have perfect profiles.

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This Is Her Ghostwriter.